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I am more angry about the emotional abuse and making me go on so many psych meds than I am about his being a homosexual. If he were just gay and owned up to it without all the other abuse, we could have worked something out, but he needed me to be “unreliable” and unstable to keep up his facade. I am also very angry with my family for buying into his lies and not protecting me. I was young and had nowhere to go. I tell them, even now, that I am “cured” or I was never mentally ill only situationally depressed. I mean, who would not be situationally depressed under the circumstances? That is how deep his lies were. I was also the perfect mark: choose a vulnerable, religious woman without much family support. She will need you more and no one will help her out even if they did believe her. Keep her fat and unemployable, even better.

How the church fed into his abuse I will address in another post.

So, I will tell you what it is like to live in the closet with an emotionally abusive and cruel coward of a man. The secret becomes a monster.


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Last-modified: 2021-09-08 (水) 00:20:14 (17d)